And so it was, we gathered once more, for satanic panic had come unto us.

Chapter I – The Gathering of Saints and Sinners

“And it came to pass in the days of thunder, that the saints and the sinners were summoned unto the pit, to receive the names by which they should be known for all eternity.”

And lo, upon the seventh day past, we assembled in the land of Los Santos for a sacred masquerade. A holy-unholy convocation of saints and sinners.

Thus, at the mouth of darkness, where the storm drains yawn like the very jaws of Sheol, the ritual baptism was performed. And indeed, one by one, the faithful crossed the unholy threshold and were anointed with holy titles.

For among the saints:

• Jaytey was sanctified as St. J’tai’el, Keeper of the Silver Voice.
• Mathilya was hallowed as St. Mathylith, Herald of the Celestial Future.
• Nightingale took the mantle St. Noctessa Galeheart, Angel of the Night Choir.
• Pete arose as St. Pakkuraz’zt, Shepherd of the Steel Blade.
• Villem ascended as St. Vil’azem, Cherub of Burning Love.

For among the sinners:

• FragFoe was corrupted into Vrag’Phor, Dark Devourer of the Fallen.
• Uncle Tim fell into Unktel Tithma’el, Voice of the Naked Abyss.
• And I, at last, took the possessed form of Mattazul, Oathbearer of the Blackened Sun.

Chapter II – Signs and Wonders

“And the heavens gave forth portents, and the city was stirred; for the deeds of the gathering fell into dark mystery.”

Yet, as the assembly gathered, strange omens were seen:

• Lawmen did arrive unbidden, beheld the company, and departed in haste.
• A woman seated in her chair vanished in a manner ghostly and without sound.
• Word reached the ears of local satanists, who came forth desiring to join our rites.
• St. Pakkuraz’zt called upon the knife-bearing sinner to perform an exorcism. But alas — the rite failed, and the demon within me clung fast, grinding in triumph.

Chapter III – The Road Between Heaven and Hell

“And they set their faces unto the path, and rode the road that lieth between the golden crown and the ashen pit.”

Thus baptized and named, we rode forth into the playlist of perdition. So we beheld the golden gates of Heaven, the ashen pits of Hell, and all the cursed roads that lie between.

Chapter IV – The Testimony of the Scribes

“Blessed be the scribes who preserve the memory of the day, for without them the tale would extinguish as fire before water.”

Gratitude eternal to Jay, Mathilya, Pete, and Tim, whose snaps captured our pilgrimage of satanic panic in holy and profane detail. And so thou may gaze upon these relics below, with many more in the #snapmatic realm of discord. Now, go forth, ye saints and ye sinners, to spread the mystic word, for the hour shall come again. Indeed, blessed are they who return, for they shall inherit the coveted crown. But cursed are they who turn away, for the pit remembereth their name!